Hi,

I don't know if you read Craigslist, you probably do, because you're fucking creepy. Anyways, I really regret responding to you the other night (the first time I ever saw you) when you made a comment about not being able to find your black car. I don't usually strike conversation with the other people from my apartment building, but since you initiated the exchange, I was polite enough to giggle at your lameness and continue inside to my apartment. What I didn't know is that I would be seeing you outside of my apartment building, several times a day, every day.

Our next encounter came the following day, as I was going to get in my car and leave. You were standing alongside your generic black car, with a grimey smile hiding under your five o'clock shadow and cigarette dangling between your fingers. Your body language was expressive and I made it a point to not make eye contact, in fear of you striking unwanted conversation again. Thankfully, when I returned from the store, you were not still outside.

But alas, as I was going to take my dog out for a walk today, there you were hanging out in front of the apartment building. What I don't understand is why you chose to stand there, right in front of all the cars? These apartments have balconies, there are stairs and hallways in which you could smoke in. Hell, there is even pathways and sidewalks where you could walk and smoke at the same time. Yet you hang out, sitting on your car, waiting to creep on unsuspecting young women like me. But today, as soon as I saw you, I immediately turned right back around and came back into my apartment, locking both the bottom and top lock. I am now unable to take my dog out to go pee because you've decided to make yourself a permanent creepy fixture outside of this building. I don't know if it would be inappropriate to ask that you not smoke/hang out in that particular spot anymore. Being southern and very polite, I would not have it in me to confront you myself. So here I am, on Craigslist hoping you read this ad and choose to not be a nuisance in front of my apartment building for another two months until my lease is up.

Sincerely,
I carry pepper spray