Well Hello There

Good morning 7:30 AM. It's been awhile since we've hung out like this. Let me tell you all about night.

Last night, somehow, I ended up in some honky-tonk bar in the middle of Georgia, with my friends buying me drinks, because I'm awesome. It was karaoke night, so of course there was plenty of Elton John, Beatles and AC/DC playing. The bar was rick-rolled, once. My friends Robb, Caitlyn, Michelle and of course, the most awesome ever, Slagathor a.k.a. Lindsey were there. I was drinking Bud Light for the first hour or so, because I'm not huge on getting wasted when I have shit-tons of crap errands to run the next day. Also, Christo is not fond of me staying out at all hours of the night, so I try to make it home a decent hour.

After about two or three hours into 90's music showdown, I wanted to perk up a bit. I'm a bit of a bore when I don't have much to talk about and when I'm not interested in getting in EVERYONE'S drama. I decided to get my favorite drink ever right now, Sex on the Beach. Somehow in there I spilled my Reeses pieces into the bottom of my purse, and decided (because I don't like melted chocolate all over my nicest purse) to take everything out, and reorganize it in the middle of the bar. Much fun. Some of the assorted (random) things I found in my purse included: TWO earrings, from different sets, that didn't have their match in the bag, TWO baby nail clippers, hand sanitizer (gas stations, ew), sunglasses, wallet, cards that belong in the wallet all over the place, my pink pepper spray that Christo bought me for Christmas, crayons, a binky, two cell phones, a toll pass, spare change, makeup that I haven't used in FOREVER, a couple pens, lipgloss and cherry chapstick. I'm like Mary Poppins, housewife edition.

This is a cute squirrel.

Anywho, after removing all the stray candy, I stuffed my bag and started chain smoking, bad. I do this when I'm a tad bit inebriated, mostly because I think I need an oral fixation to distract myself, or make myself focus, IDK. I met some cool folks, had a few more drinks, and met the folks that work at the bar. (Super cool people, let me tell ya.)

The bar stayed open pretty late, and then the crew decided to head to Caitlyn's house. Lindsey wanted to go there, and I was pretty toasted so I tagged along, because Lindsey was my ride. We went to Krystal's and OH MY GOD, NEVER HAVE I EVER TASTED SOMETHING SO DELICIOUS.

Pictured: Orgasm in your mouth. 4srs.

Lindsey ordered 50 million cheeseburgers, boxes of fries and a couple cokes. DID YOU KNOW THAT KRYSTAL'S BURGERS COME IN BOXES?!?!?! Not just wrapped up in recycled robot poop, but in little nifty boxes so they just peek out at you as if to say "Hello, I'm going to give you the best experience you've ever had in your mouth in your life, ever." And you can't turn that down.

Finally we made it to Caityn's house, everyone had beers while I choked down my orgasm burger, coke and menthols. It was lots of super fun, lots of talk about music and bands that are long dead and the regular dose of drama. Somehow, it ended up being like 6 AM, and I started freaking out bad, because Christo has to leave for work at 7 AM and I don't know what traffic is like that early in the morning. I made Lindsey come back to life and forced her to drive me home, while she talked to people through her car. Because her car is a SPACESHIP. (It even has fancy little light buttons and stuff.) Unfortunately, Lindsey drives like a grandma and was practically going 45 for the whole drive, making me more panicked. Luckily, Christo didn't call her phone until about 5 minutes from my exit and I made it home, safe and sound.

So that was my fun night, now 8 AM. I'm going to go choke on some dish-washing fluid and dryer lint now, because I have to get this house ready for the party Saturday night. I'm sure I'll see you again soon.

Love ya bunches,
Snarky